I want to go somewhere far, far away, even for just a few days. To detox. To be with myself. To think of nobody else but myself.
I’ll be packing light. Bring the laptop and the camera, and the cellphone (which I’ll put in silent mode all throughout my hibernation). Then maybe a shirt or two, pants, several pieces of underwear. And some noodle packs, so I won’t need to spend too much on food. I’d miss my hamsters so, I guess, I might just have to bring them with me to my hibernation, since they don’t really disturb me much (actually, they uplift me whenever I feel so down or so irritated with something or someone). And yes, a book or two would be good…
Wait, did I say I’ll be packing light?
Never mind that. In my hibernation, I want to check in an inn or apartelle. No, I’m not planning to go sight-seeing, so perhaps the biggest part of my expenses will go to my hibernation place. Enough amenities that I’ll need not to go out of the room for a length of time. Nothing really plush, just complete enough that I’ll feel I’m not depriving myself of anything except human company.
I just want to be alone for a while. I’d like to be able to stretch time so it’ll go slowly for me, letting me think of random and nonrandom things, reflect, meditate, dream, and possibly, engage in mental warfare with myself. I’ll write poetry or stories, sing to myself, laugh out loud and stare at myself on the mirror.
But why be alone?
I think it would do anyone good if they’ll give themselves time to be alone for sometime. For myself, I’ve been surrounded with people almost all the time, with patients (both the wonderful and the annoying) during the daytime and with parents (both wonderful and annoying) at nighttime, except when I lock myself up inside my room to surf the net/plurk/bloghop or when I’m about to sleep. It’s nice to be able to connect with different people and feel that I’m doing something productive or important for somebody else. But I feel that I don’t really have the time for myself, to do what I want to do, or to simply do nothing. Often I wish that I’ve got more than 24 hours each day, so I could accomplish more things and have time for the seemingly unnecessary or mundane activities that I feel are important to me and which enrich me.
All of these I’ve played out in my mind and it felt wonderful. Now, how to make it a reality. When am I even allowed to go leave and not be bothered by other people?
I don’t know.
For now, I may just have to content myself with mental hibernation and hoping soon, I’ll be able to be physically hibernating too.