“Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.”
- Morpheus, The Matrix
In as much as I believe that the topic of faith should not be shielded from the crucible of human reason, I’ve intently avoided talking or arguing about faith or the lack of it, except with a few trusted friends. From experience, I know it only ignites a series of heated arguments that almost always leads to exchange of below-the-belt comments and holier-than-thou/superiority-inferiority attitudes. I suspect that if the participants of such debates will not agree to certain basic rules before it started, the discussion will go nowhere. I mean, how could a person who believes a holy book contains the truth (and nothing but the truth) use the bible to argue his case if the other person he’s debating with, who believes in logic and evidence, do not believe that it is credible source of evidence?
And so, imagine my surprise when, one day, a colleague whom I know to be a member of Iglesia ni Cristo asked me one day if I know Richard Dawkins.
I said I’ve read Richard Dawkins’ work, The God Delusion. At the same time, in my head, my thoughts were circling around the possible direction where the conversation was headed to. I know how some INC members could cling hard on their faith and would not suffer anyone questioning their beliefs. I’ve quietly debated within myself, if I’m going to strike fast and hard, or just let go.
I guess he wasn’t quite aware of that brief, inner turmoil going in within me because he kept on asking about Dawkins’ works, “The God Delusion”, and other atheist writers. I told him briefly about “The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason” and “Letter To A Christian Nation” by Sam Harris, “God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything” by Christopher Hitchens, and “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand in any decent bookstore. Or I could lend it to him.
He ranted on how he have these “dangerous” ideas that he had been cradling for a very long time. He was brought up believing the principles of INC, because his parents are members of INC. But for a long while he had some questions on what he supposedly strongly believes in and the questions continue to grow and multiply as time passes.
Then he went on to ask what my religion is.
I’ve to admit it took me a moment to answer. “I’m a baptized Catholic,” I replied, after what seemed to be a long intake of breath.
“Ah, I see,” he said. “But what are your inclinations now?”
I think that was the moment when I’ve to decide to call myself something.
“I’m a Doubter,” I told him.
“I think I am, too”, he said. “A Doubter with many questions.”
“Well, then, don’t be afraid of those questions.” I promised him that next time we see each other, I’ll lend him my books. In a sense, he reminded me of myself before. Those questions, I thought, plagued me. But in time, and after much contemplation with open eyes and mind, I saw that it wasn’t a plague. Rather, it’s as basic as the fuel we feed our brains, if I accepted that what could be mundane can also be awesome and inspiring. I think that stage of doubt and thirst for knowledge was described beautifully by Morpheus, in the film, The Matrix.
Perhaps in future posts, I could further elaborate. But for now, for my colleague, I hope he finds what he’s looking for in the book. Or even if not, at least, it can help him to free his mind.
June 4th, 2008 at 20:35
What a very personal post (bitin nga lang, and I’m hoping for another update. :D)
I’m also a doubter, though my classmates (back at HS) knew me as someone fully believing the nonexistence of a supreme being. But I have not yet publicly (not even personally) proclaimed myself an atheist, since it would take me years and years to figure out my place within the heated arguments.
mentholGUY’s last blog post..Pimp my post and play with fire.
June 4th, 2008 at 20:56
I hate rabid Atheists as much as rabid Christians. As an agnostic, I extend courtesy to all religions. I think the key to not coming to blows with people who are ‘faithful’ is to see their religion as first and foremost a code of ethics - something that guides them in life, something that makes life easier for them. Another is to look at religion as a philosophy - a way of thinking about life. My closest friends in Oz were Muslims, a Baptist, a Buddhist and an atheist. Imagine our dinner conversations.
sparks’s last blog post..Refreshed
June 4th, 2008 at 21:08
interesting. i have a copy of Christopher Hitchens’ book, and i still have with me a friends copy of The Atheist’s Bible as compiled by Joan Konner. i can’t consider myself a doubter, though. it just interests me to know the other side of my beliefs.
aajao’s last blog post..my girl
June 4th, 2008 at 22:39
to mentholGUY:
Sowee if it’s bitin. Hihi. It’s just that there’s so much to say about this and I wouldn’t want to bore people that they’ll just leave my page and never come back. Ahaha.
But seriously, coming out of the closet is hard to do, for reasons that it could affect so many people and so many things. And I quite understand why there are so many closet atheists out there. I think it’s a matter of self-preservation in a country that’s supposedly largely religious and many aspects of the society are under the direct or indirect influence of organized religions. I’ve been mulling over this aspect of the problem (problem of coming out, that is). Well, in time, I’ll be able to write that post.
June 4th, 2008 at 22:46
to sparks:
You know what? I’m still at a loss about the difference between an atheist and an agnostic. For now, the lines delineating the too are still a bit blurry.
I tend to think that there’s a difference between spirituality and religion. Members of organized religion tend to see the two as one, but if one will think about it, spirituality is present in all thinking beings.
It’s okay to have conversations over dinner on religion (or the lack of it), depending on the people you’re having dinner with. Well, if they’re your friends, I guess they wouldn’t really mind a little argument. But there are just some people (even some friends) who really couldn’t stand a little criticism. And for those kind of people, I just try to avoid eliciting or engaging in debates about religion. It will be useless, really, if the one you’re arguing with is using a very different set of “logic”. I’ve learned that the hard way.
June 4th, 2008 at 22:48
to aajao:
At least, you try to keep an open mind. Good for you. If you still want to read some more, try “Letter to a Christian Nation” by Sam Harris. I highly recommend it.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:56
i thought agnostics believe in a God but are unsure where to find THE God… on the other hand, atheists fully reject God’s existence. correct me if i’m wrong but i got that definition of agnosticism through a friend who considers himself as one. for me, agnostics are more tolerant to “religious activities” since within them they still believe in a God.
i’ll do try to read more of those book kinds
aajao’s last blog post..ahhh… coffee!
June 5th, 2008 at 13:25
I’ve struggled with these thoughts myself, Doc Tess, and even investigated both sides and more. In the end, I agree with your observation about spirituality - a personal individual experience - vs. religion - a collective experience. I respect other’s choices for either or both, and I could only wish they reciprocate. Unfortunately, we all know people who tend to go overboard in whatever they choose.
Pinay MegaMom’s last blog post..The Accidental Blogger
June 5th, 2008 at 19:16
to aajao:
I think being an agnostic means that one tends to believe that either it’s hard to prove the existence of a god or believes that it may be possible to prove its existence, but not at the present time.
In a sense, agnostics are similar to atheists that they don’t believe in a supreme being. The difference only lies in the fact that atheists do outrightly deny the existence while agnostics tend to be more unsure whether they should reject it or not.
Well, it’s a bit blurry for me still. I’m looking forward to more explanations from those who claim to be agnostics.
June 5th, 2008 at 19:19
to Pinay MegaMom:
It would be easier to think of belief in a supreme being as harmless because it is personal. However, when people start congregating and then start to believe that theirs is a more superior, or even the only true belief, and start imposing it on others, unwittingly or knowingly, then that’s when chaos start. I believe Sam Harris and other atheists who say that when religion and politics intertwine, it becomes deadly.
June 15th, 2008 at 19:32
Honestly I don’t doubt the existence of God, but I do doubt today’s religions. Some are just used to fill in their pastor’s pockets.
By the way have u seen the trailer for the upcoming film “Religulous”? it’s a documentary about religion,looks interesting. here’s the link: http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/religulous/
June 16th, 2008 at 22:04
This got me to thinking about how it’s good to be a doubter. My previous blog was all about being agnostic………then I declared myself atheist. The universe had a way, though, to bring so many openings of an “awakening” to my life. I let go of the old”God in the sky” idea long ago, to begin a spiritual journey that I really did not choose at all. It chose me, it seems.
July 2nd, 2008 at 23:17
I am seeing this post rather late, but am glad to see this type of discussion! I don’t know what my final beliefs will be … but I know what’s most important to me, and that’s truth. I can’t be open to the truth if I stop listening to those with differing opinions. I won’t hear the truth if I’m too afraid to challenge my own thoughts or stray from tradition. Many of the authors mentioned here have challenged my own ideas about God, and the personal commentary, like that here, impacts me also. There is something exciting about a journey to something (truth) with an unpredictable outcome! Discovery still does occur in this day and age … and now it often occurs within!