Prudence and Madness

Based on people’s twits, it is obvious that a lot are in a good mood nowadays because of the holiday season.  Wrapping presents, attending parties, preparing to go on vacation, writing online about Christmas…these are but some of the activities that people are recently engaged in.  I also enjoy doing these things, as these are part of the tradition of the season.  However, most of the time, I think I’m two beings, one person doing all of these mechanically, and another one just observing everything from afar, detached.

I have to say that I’m not that all happy this holiday season.  And this is, for most part, because I’m not that happy staying here at home.  Though I’m happy to be finally spending the holidays at home after four years of being on duty during Christmas and the New Year, I’m not much enthusiastic to be staying here.

I  rarely write about my parents.  I like and love them as most people do love their parents, but for sometime, I have a part of myself detached from them already.  This is perhaps due to certain problems that brought friction in the family.  It is simply hard to lessen that friction if the other party simply refuses to see that there’s something wrong and that they’re partly to be blamed for it.  It’s hard to convince people that they’ve done something wrong when they have the notion that they’re blemish-free simply because they’re parents and I’m only the child.  I have made my stand and they have theirs too.  So I let it be that way.  On the surface, everything seems to be all right again, but it isn’t.  Or perhaps, they want to think that what has been done is enough to repair what has been damaged.  But I know underneath the facade are the cracks, the debris, and the dents, weakening the structure but all covered up, simply because they refuse to see that there’s something wrong on their part in the first place.

I’m already tired of people telling me that it’s so because there’s just something wrong with me and that I ought to shape up because I’m whining like a teenage rebel.  I understand these are the generic rationalization of people who refuse to see all perspectives and who cling on what’s comfortable for them.  And I know I’m not acting like a teenage rebel because, in the first place, I’m not a teenager.  Neither do I consider myself a rebel.  I do what I do, not because I want to be different, but because that’s what I want to do.  So no need to tell me that.

I have acknowledged that this just can’t be simply remedied.  I’m not losing hope but I don’t think this time is the time for things to be worked out.  I let them be and they let me be.  We live together, eat together, laugh, go out together and do all the things expected of a family.  All because I’ve given up trying to let them know why I feel hurt because they just cannot understand, despite the numerous repetitions.  I keep to myself and try to be patient with everything that is happening.   I do what they want to be done.  They can control the physical, but my mind, they’ve got no hold on it.

After all, I’m just the child.  They’re the parents.  What right do I even have to be right?

To everyone, happy holidays.

And so, after lemonade business, sim cities, theme park, hospital, and even cruise ship tycoon games, the tycoon game series have come to the fairy-godmother-creating-sensation. Believe me, the first time I came across this game at Yahoo! games, I was like, “WTF?!?! Now we create fairy godmothers too?!”

Actually, the title of the game is a bit misleading. In this game, you don’t create fairy godmothers. Instead, you try to resuscitate Fairy Godmother’s dying Potions Empire due to lots of competitors trying to boot her out of the business. Maybe it should have been named Professor Snape’s Potions Tycoon game.

It’s the usual tycoon game: you apply the laws of supply and demand and try to balance all factors to attain the goals of each level, like earning this certain amount of net worth or booting out a competitor.

At first, I was a bit hesitant to try this game. It sounded so girly. But while that I’m only looking for a light PC game which will not demand too much of my time (or my money), I decided to give it a try. No harm in having a go at it since it has a free trial version which has all the features of the game but you could only play it for one hour.

So, here we go:

By the way, all the screen captures of the game are taken from a level that I’ve just finished. I wasn’t able to take screen captures of the tutorial anyway.

So, at the menu, it’s a choice between the Classic Game and the Happy Ever After Game. If using it for the first time, you have to start the Classic Game first. The Happy Ever After Game only gets activated once you finished a level in the Classic Game.
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Since late November, I’ve already been having what I termed “Holiday Sickness”, which usually means intermittent bouts of cold, cough, and wheezing (which sometimes reminds me of how my cat must feel like whenever he chokes on his own furball…only that I don’t choke and, of course, I don’t accumulate furballs in my throat).  In my experience, it lasts until late January or February.

But then, of course, “Holiday Sickness” is not the right medical term for it.  I suspect it’s just an allergic reaction to some allergens common during the cooler months which is from December to February.

It resolves with the usual antihistamines but sometimes, the wheezing can be quite bothersome, even if it just spontaneously resolves.

But what I find more bothersome is that I get more easily distracted lately.  One day, I can come up with loads of blog post ideas and then, when I’ve finally decided to write them down, the thoughts disappear.  Poof!  Gone.  And when I try to bend my mind this way and that, I still won’t be able to recover the lost thoughts until maybe a day or two when the thoughts will be back inside my head again.  And then, when I try to write it down, it will be gone again.  And the cycle goes on.

So, how do I get myself out of this?

Sleep.

The body needs to slow down and heal itself and the mind is better receptive when it’s well-rested.

Good night.