Prudence and Madness

I wonder why she had the gall to say such things. There are people who are probably indifferent to Cris death but they don’t add any more burden by saying insensitive things.

Truth be told, I don’t necessarily disagree with some of the points she made. There is some truth to what she said about Cris knowing what he was getting himself into, and how nobody would be hazed if they didn’t join a frat in the first place. And had she made those points using a sympathetic tone, thing probably would have turned out differently.

But she went too far when she refused to sympathize with the mourners of Cris’s death. I suspect she just wanted to differentiate herself from all the other sympathizers, as well as put forward an objective take on the whole scenario. But then she stepped over the line from objectivity to callousness, and lost any chance of having her point heard by people.

to Pau:

But there shouldn’t be a HAZING in th first place. What I find disturbing in her statements though (I don’t know if this is just a bias) is that it seems to me she is putting more blame upon the victim because it was his fault that he was in that situation in the first place than those who hazed him. Although she expressed that she wanted those responsible to be caught and punished, I think she only wanted it so because the law states it, not because it’s wrong for fraternity members to do this on new members.

Maybe I have a bias. But what I’m hearing in her statement is this: ‘yan ang napala mo kasi sali ka ng sali sa mga fraternity, buti nga sa’yo, hindi mo na inisip ang mga magulang mo na naghihirap para mapaaral ka.

While I agree that Mendez is partly to be blamed for what happened to him, still I will not emphasize on this, but rather, I’ll emphasize on the wrongness of the practice of hazing itself. It’s not an everyday normal thing nor should we be discouraged from eliminating it from our culture, though deeply-rooted it is.

The problem with some people is that they keep saying it’s difficult to make changes to the way fraternities initiate their new members because it’s “tradition”. Yes, it is difficult. But if we don’t start now, when?

Yes, I agree she went too far. I see that she’s trying to be objective about the whole situation. However, her insensitivity is glaring. I don’t need to assess how I feel about it. I only need to look at the comments by friends of Cris Mendez and it’s enough to say that it hurt them, they who’re grieving right now.

to Noemi:

I don’t know. Maybe she wanted to inject objectivity on her views about Mendez death. Or she wanted to be cool. I wonder.

However, she wrote this:

“So they could not believe that a person like me whose opinion differs from theirs on that issue goes to the same school as they do.

I could not believe that they think that I do not have the right to write my opinions in my own blog while they have the right to be viewed my millions on national TV.”

I don’t know…maybe she resents those who wanted justice for Cris Mendez. A friend of hers already expressed that resentment, since it’s his fault why he got there in the first place.

REally, I do not understand how anybody could be THAT cold.

Like Pau, I get her point, it takes two to tango and there will be no hazing if there will be no neophytes in the first place. Each one of us should have learned our lesson what with all of the numerous hazing victims in the past some of which, unfortunately, turned out to be just part of the statistic
It doesn’t follow though that I like the practice, my father once told us that fraternities before really embodied true brotherhood, eg. they would help you with their schoolings and all and not help you to meet your death sooner. Whoever dimiwit he is who first thought of almost killing or actually killing a neophyte before he became a “brother” should be roasted to death (no,wait lol, I kid, I kid). But I think we can’t stop this unless someone becomes free of “crab mentality” where (I think) they believe it’s their God-given right to give someone a taste of what they got when they first joined. And we are able to convince the college dudes and dudettes that they should not, under any circumstances, subject themselves to such cruelty specially since the one who will be hitting their bodies are not the one who did almost everything just for them to get what they want.

I just wish people would learn their lesson and stop joining and the alumni of these fraternities would put their foot down and make use of their being senior to put a stop to this “tradition”. You do get old for a reason, right?

PS: My statements, even if it’s not my intention, really, comes off as offensive to some, I don’t know why so if it is the case to you, please delete this if not, can you edit this and delete the PS? hehe

This is the kind of thinking that is encouraged when you have a Justice Secretary who says things like “Nicole” and Julia Campbell brought it upon themselves —when the former let herself get drunk and socialized with Daniel Smith and company, and the latter by trudging the lonely mountain trail by herself. If this Justice Secretary wasn’t currently on leave, he would most likely say the same thing about Cris Mendez.

@ dizzy, I was about to say about the Julia Campbell issue.

Anyway, indeed, there is some grain of truth in what she says (e.g. it takes two to tango). But I think she goes beyond attacking sympathizers’ feelings. It was uncalled for.

[...] Apathy: The Most Cold-Hearted Murderer of Them All [...]

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There are lots of work to be done. The culture of violence is deeply rooted. The frats need people’s help especially in awakening the young not to waste their lives for nothing.

Education, and most of all, a deep sense of spiritual enlightenment, will guide the parents and their kids to finish education unscathed.

Gawad Kalinga has started an initiative to redirect the energies of fratmen into something more meaningful and constructive. But, as in all forms of evolution, the frat mentality of violence starting from the initiation rites cannot be eradicated at once. It’s a pity that hard lessons are needed for people to change instead of listening to the cries of the ones oppressed all these years.

Sometimes it needs an exclamation mark to end the sentence. That’s what’s happened to this tragedy..so that the perpetrators of this evil culture will finally be awakened.

Thanks,

Joel F

[...] Dr. Tess Termulo pointed to a blog post at a certain social networking site where the blogger said something controversial enough to merit comments that are against the blogger’s idea. The blogger cannot defend her assertions, so she locked the entry so that only a select few can read and post comments. [...]

to Mae:

Like what I told Pau, there shouldn’t have been a hazing in the FIRST PLACE. Also, though Mendez may have an idea that there’s hazing involved, I suspect that there were friends who mostly encouraged him to continue joining with promises of making sure he doesn’t get that much punishment or hazing. He may have known a lot of people who’re already inside the fraternity. But we can only speculate now.

Also, I’d like to refer you to vic’s comment:

“A soldier going to war knows what is expected, but commit anything outside the rule of war against a soldier on any side of the conflict and you are committing a “war Crime”. Chris may know what he was getting, for sure not a violent death.”

I think it’s very well said.

While we can always arrive at the conclusion that a person who decides to join a fraternity is not thinking enough, perhaps we should take another perspective on it. Have someone tried to recruit you for a fraternity/sorority /organization? I can speak for this because in my time in school, recruiters abound and they can be pretty convincing. Almost because they’re friends whom you think are not idiots. And the incentives can be quite promising and enticing, like a promise of better work once affiliated with a certain organization. Add to that the prestige(?) and being a lot surer that you’d graduate because “somebody from high up” who’s your brod can manage some things for you if a problem hindering you from graduation arises. All of these are enticing for someone who’s near graduation and who was concerned about what will happen to him after school.

Yes, we can always tell people that they shouldn’t be joining this and that because they do hazing, etcetera. But will people always listen? I think some people are viewing it the wrong way. Don’t join if you don’t want to get hurt. Correct in some ways, but not entirely. Do you think by not joining you’d be entirely free of risk of being caught up in fraternity-related violence? No. As long as you stay in the campus with such organizations who practice such violence. The key to this problem is eliminating, not the organizations, but the culture of fraternity-related violence. Sounds difficult but, hey, it always starts somewhere right?

to dizzy:

“This is the kind of thinking that is encouraged when you have a Justice Secretary who says things like “Nicole” and Julia Campbell brought it upon themselves”

— it’s appalling that that some people could think that way. It’s like wanting to downplay the existing crime by pointing the blame to the one who was victimized because he let himself fall victim. Sheesh.

We have a saying that if you can’t say anything nice, just don’t say anything. I also think that if one can dish it, then be prepared for the consequences. She definitely has crossed the line of humanity.

People like her are termites which destroys the very essence of our existence. We simply do not exist for ourselves alone as we are all part of society.

to john marzan:

I changed my mind. Haha. Oh no, not about the mob going after her. About having other people read what she wrote. After all, the post was initially posted as open to viewing by all. She only limited access to it when she received negative comments. Also, I got too annoyed by the other comments I read in her blog.

I don’t think the “mob” (or those who act like it) will come after her this time. The views on the Mendez issue are too divided and, as I’ve noticed before, there aren’t that much people in the blogosphere who’re affected by it. Not with the same passion and rage as the previous issue.

to Schumey:

I think now she’s more open to discussions. At least, that’s the impression I get from the more recent comments in her blog.

I am very much hurt also by the tone of the particular article you discussed. I graduated from UP almost a decade ago, and I am not apathetic to this.

I am apathetic, though, to those people who even consider expressing their disdain on someone who got killed because of hazing. Like he was just a stupid person who was following the trend. Karma is a btch and someday they’ll know how it feels to be judged unfairly by others.

Cris did not “bring it upon himself” as that writer said. He risked it to obtain the promise of a brighter future. Not much different from those who risk their lives by going abroad to improve their family’s lifestyle.

This is by no means a self promotion, but I would be very happy if your readers could also read my post on this issue:

http://woobie.pinoygaming.net/a-sad-tribute-to-the-lost-leaders-of-the-philippines/

A post from a UP grad, and “Quitter” (I’m sure you all know the contextual meaning of that term).

[...] own way so that people will not forget about it. As I’ve said in a post in my personal blog, apathy is the most cold-hearted murderer of them all (though the post is for a different [...]