Prudence and Madness

I remember a conversation with a friend who has some “problems” about asking his GF to…make out (and going all the way).

Guy: I don’t know how to ask her about it. She seems conservative. She might get mad or offended.

Me: Trust me, she’s just waiting for your move.

Of course, we’re not talking about a couple of teenagers here. I don’t want to be a bad influence! Both, I think, are of legal age and may engage in sexual relations if they want to.

My close guy-friends also asked me about this: How do you know if she wants to have sex?

There’s a common notion that women want less sex than men. This perhaps can be blamed on the society’s promotion of sexual stereotypes: that men are more sexually permissive than women. Men are expected by the society to be more adventurous with sex, have sex with as many people as possible, or to be more verbal about their want for sex. On the other hand, women are expected by the society to see sexual permissiveness as a social taboo. And so, men aren’t embarrassed if you find them browsing Playboy magazines or viewing sex movie scandals, but women would be blushing angry red if you caught them even a foot near such things.

There is, however, a study that debunks the myth that women want sex less than men. The study, published in the April issue of the journal Sex Roles, reveals that “sexual stereotypes don’t hold when romantic feelings come into play” (LiveScience.com).

According to the study, when women are in a committed relationship, they ditch the society-imposed gender roles and express their want for intimate relations.

So, dude, perhaps you shouldn’t be too problematic about having to ask your girl to be intimate with you. Perhaps, she’s just waiting for you to make the first move.

However, we ought to consider that some Filipino women can still be very different from Western women. This is where you must tread carefully. Personally, I’d suggest that, at first, you and your partner can probably talk about being intimate in the hypothetical sense. If she seems comfortable with talking about it, perhaps she’s more open to having such relations with you at present. But even if the hypothetical talk makes her squirm uncomfortably (and not of anticipation), then you should perhaps try some other day. She’s not ready for it and you shouldn’t force her.

A guy friend of mine has a different advice: get your car, fetch her, and drive to a pleasant-looking hotel/motel/apartelle. Of course, she would recognize the place for being what it is. If she doesn’t make a fuss, then maybe she’s ready for it.

Talk about being a man of action. Haha.

So, dude, just get going, will you? Maybe she’s just waiting for you. Just don’t get too pushy.

(Photo credits: from LiveScience.com)

Filed under: Health, News And Social Issues by Prudence