May 6 - Mwah! Goodnight! I love you. Kung nandito ka lang, ‘di lang good night kiss ‘yan :-)
May 21 - Congrats baby! Mwah!
May 23 - I love you. Goodnight.
May 30 - Good night po. Hay…
May 31. Hay. I’m sorry.
I thought the difficulty of deleting the messages was caused by a dysfunctional cellphone knob. After a while, I realized it was because of the fear of having to read through your sweet messages and then, seeing the cold ones that made me not delete those. I still cannot understand how in just a matter of days your love can fade so quickly. I cannot understand why the not so great physical distance between us should remain unconquerable for you and affect you so when it is otherwise for me. In many ways I tried to bridge that gap yet you refuse to believe it will work in the long-run. Rather, you wished that it end before “both of us get hurt”. How can you know when you haven’t tried long enough?
How can I believe you now when you’ve said you’re so sure then but weeks after you weren’t so sure anymore? How can you change your mind so fast? You said it hurt you, too. But how can I believe you if you cannot even make up your own mind?
You met me, unwhole, but at least in a semblance of a whole. Yet now you leave me in pieces again, with me trying to gather and heal myself.
I’ve said that I’m proud of my battle scars. But even the strong can get so tired, after a long, long fight. I don’t know if I can still gather the little pieces that was me.
I’m so damn tired putting up with people who can’t seem to take responsibility for the choices they made.
June 3rd, 2007 at 20:58
I used to wear my scars like a badge too. But then I realized that the best thing to do is to take things in stride and move on. Still no regrets about the past though. Also, we’re on the same boat. It’ll get better. It did for me.
June 4th, 2007 at 12:48
to Ade: I hope everything clears out real soon. It’s not so comfy being in a bit of confusion and it’s a burden not knowing if your loved one still cares about you
June 5th, 2007 at 13:24
i hate that kind of feeling…when you feel hopeless in the name of love. u know what i do pag feeling ko stressed out na ako sa sobrang pagiisip about LOVE? i go shopping or out of town for some days, para lang makalimot kahit saglit. i know it won’t solve the problem but at least i could have time for myself & reflect how & why things went wrong. im not suggesting u to do the same, but maybe, there are stuffs that will do for u not to remember things that can make u sad, right? keep smiling!
June 5th, 2007 at 18:46
to joyce: What I did was to go out with my friends. After having talks with them, I felt a lot better.
June 5th, 2007 at 20:10
that’s good! life’s too short, enjoy it while it’s hot!