Only five days have passed since my last blog entry and it seems that I’m near sinking again in that quicksand of writer’s block. Hah, got to flex those writing muscles again. Feeling a bit rusty again.
But, no, I won’t be writing of anything worthy of the Palanca award today, hahaha. Instead, let me just share the experience of the roller-coaster ride of the past few days that rather jolted me out of my monotony.
The first part of this roller-coaster ride is, after five months of enjoying the life of singleness, I found myself braving the relationship jungle again…with my Narcissus. For those of you who knows me and my story with Narcissus, don’t get too shocked! Yeah, I do have to admit it was a rather unexpected turn of events. But I think I’ve made the right decision to give it another chance. Many of you will ask how the courtship began or how he proposed. It was a long story. Actually I may write it down in fictional form. It certainly is not the regular love story. What I’ve to say, though, is that there was a blurred line separating the courtship and the time we started the relationship. I’d rather not draw a line actually, because I do not believe that the courtship and the relationship should be separate entities. The relationship itself is one-long courtship period. Couples do not end courting one another when they’ve finally decided to enter the next phase of relationship. But, rather, you enter the next level and continue courting, proving as the time passes, that the relationship is worthy of being put to the next phase. In my case, Narcissus and I decided to go to the next phase, and work hand in hand to achieving our relationship goals. And now, he isn’t my Narcissus anymore. He is Love.
The other part of this series of loops and turns is the start of my moonlighting experience. I had my first 24-hour duty as a moonlighter last December 19 at Sta. Clara de Montefalco hospital. I’d say the experience is like that scene from the recent King Kong movie wherein Ms. Anne Darrow was quite hesitant to step up into the ship’s plank. I felt that way, complete with all the cinematic effects and music, when I stepped into that hospital. It was as if all my years in medical school would not have prepared me enough for moonlighting. A lot of courage is needed. Many of you would ask why I had to be that nervous, if I’m a licensed doctor and a graduate of one of the country’s best medical schools. The answer is similar to that of the question of a fresh college graduate starting a new job. All those years of hardwork in college would never have prepared him for that first day on the job. It was as if all those years of school was suddenly forgotten and what you can rely on is your instinct…the instinct forged in that hot kiln of college life hardships and the life experience. That’s what I felt when I started last Monday. My grades in Pediatrics, Surgery, Medicine, and OB/Gyn did not matter. My board exam rate did not matter. What mattered only during that time was whether I could save the life of the patient or not. And what is more difficult is casting aside that nagging fear that I do not know enough and that I cannot do enough.
But, thank God, I got through it. I really did. And the sound of crispness of the paper bills as the cashier counts it in front of me adds to the pleasure that I finally got through the trauma of the first day on the job. Finally, I felt that experience of earning my own money that has been experienced by my other batchmates in highschool and college four years ago. One can say I’m a late bloomer.
My next duty then was December 21 and then to a mobile clinic the next day. These would be stories for the next blog entry, since this entry is already getting too lengthy for comfort. All I’ve to say for now is that the experience with moonlighting is like that of a virgin during sex: the first time hurts but one gets to enjoy the experience on the successive tries.
So, now I just have to look forward to my next 24-hour duty…on December 25 at St. Paul’s Hospital in Bocaue. And, also, I have to increase the intensity for my review. Finally, my orange permit arrived and I was able to schedule my step 1 exam. I’ll be taking the step 1 on February 27, 2006. Barely 2 months left to study. Hah, got to end this entry already, grab a quick chow, and revisit my review books again…
I just love this life’s rollercoaster ride.
December 24th, 2005 at 15:42
Merry Christmas, Tess.